Th Per me si va ne la città dolente,
per me si va ne l'etterno dolore,
per me si va tra la perduta gente.
Giustizia mosse il mio alto fattore:
fecemi la divina podestate,
la soma sapienza e 'l primo amore.
Dinanzi a me non fuor cose create
se non etterne, e io etterno duro.
Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate
-The Divine Comedy, Inferno, Canto III, by Dante Alighieri
We, the deviants, in order to form a less perfect union of thought, establish fallible inquisitiveness, insure tranquility does not stagnate into mediocrity, provide for the defense of the uncommon and extraordinary, promote the astral welfare, and secure the blessings of intellectual liberty to ourselves and our academic successors, do ordain and establish this Constitution of SPOOK.
Article I: the Name
Section 1. The name of this organization shall be “the Society for the Proliferation of Obscure Occult Knowledge” and shall, in the context of this organization, be synonymous with “SPOOK.”
Section 2. To avoid confusion, the Magickal name and/or numerological equivalent of SPOOK shall not be used in official business conducted with non-members, hereafter named “mundanes.”
Section 3. “SPOOK” is a singular noun referring to the collective members, officers, etc. and any synergetic surplus. As an adjective, comparing something to this organization, the quality shall be written “SPOOKy.” “SPOOKing” is defined to be the act of proliferating obscure occult knowledge. As proliferating knowledge requires someone learning, “SPOOKs” shall not be used as an intransitive verb. And the adverb, “SPOOKily,” is just difficult to say.
Article II: Purpose
Assuming the existence of purpose, which is admittedly a big assumption, SPOOK is dedicated to the preservation and distribution of information normally overlooked in typical classroom environments. By this, we hope to expand the potential of academia. With knowledge of the self and/or the universe, students will have greater opportunity to better understand their human potential, in accordance with the prophecy. Through research and experience we will report, preserve, disseminate and further advance knowledge of phenomena and those aspects of humans and the universe frequently labeled as “paranormal” or “supernatural.” We will enhance individual growth and development by encouraging an intellectually and inquisitively diverse environment with a descriptive, rather than proscriptive/prescriptive, nature.
Hypothetically, in proliferating obscure occult knowledge, what we teach will become mainstream culture and no longer obscure. Thus, if SPOOK is successful it will become obsolete and unnecessary. If SPOOK fails to spread knowledge, the point of SPOOK will be lost and it will become obsolete and unnecessary. If this is true, then we, the deviants who created SPOOK, must necessarily find the continued existence of SPOOK somewhat bothersome. On the other hand, SPOOK as a whole is not willing to state this as a certainty. We choose to believe it is true because it is fun to believe it is true.
SPOOK is established on the principle of better serving the community through better serving ourselves. Community services may include, but are not limited to: proliferating obscure occult knowledge (unless this is seen as a disservice), promoting chi flow, calling, propitiating, or exorcising spirits, demonstrating it is possible to live life and be happy simultaneously, etc.
Article III: What is, and is not, SPOOKy
Prescriptive suggestions:
Examples of things that are SPOOKy include, but are not limited to:
Occultism, spirituality, theology, comparative religions, metaphysics, parapsychology, cognitive biochemistry, mysticism, shamanism, magick and all things ending in the suffix -mancy, the nature and history of evil, quantum physics and the paradox of perceived materialism, the nature of consciousness in all states, all supportable thoughts on the nature of the Human Situation (otherwise known as Human Feces), relations between humans (love, hate, lust, monogamy vs. polyamory, communication, hermeneutics, language, words of power, etc.), and topics that cause established disciplines to fail (physics explaining time, psychology explaining free will, mathematics explaining infinity, biology explaining identity, etc.).
At the core of SPOOKy philosophy is the idea of blasphemy for fun and prophet. By causing conflicting opinions to contact each other in an environment without "right" and "wrong," we can make the two opinions annihilate each other and generate gamma radiation which we may attempt to use as a power source. Unless we're mistaken. Critical thinking can lead to insight, but this does not mean that it will.
Proscriptive suggestions:
Examples of things that are more likely to harm SPOOK than help include, but are not limited to:
Article IV: Members
The members of the chapter of SPOOK at UH central must be students at UH central.
SPOOK Member Suggestions:
The following are some characteristics of those who are likely to be beneficial to and benefit from SPOOK.
The following characteristics show people who would probably be safer and saner as non-members.
Fees and Requirements to join SPOOK:
Members must state any talents and/or skills they have and know about (and are willing to discuss with the general membership of SPOOK) or wish to learn, willingly suspend disbelief and expectations during meetings, and pay a $5/semester fee. The $5 fee may be waived by the Inner Triangle in special circumstances. Those wishing to terminate their membership may do so, but will not be refunded the fee. Members may be asked to give a phone number and/or email address to be contacted. Membership cards may be issued to members.
Alternatively, people may be inducted into SPOOK by a consensus of the organization's membership. These people, upon selection, are full members, and the $5/semester fee is permanently waived for such members.
Excommunication: (Defined as official removal from SPOOK's membership without that individual's consent.)
Members may be excommunicated from SPOOK by a multi-step process. First, a member must present a complaint to the Inner Triangle against another member for the other member to be considered for excommunication. Mediation will be attempted to resolve the problem and the member shall be formally given a warning in writing. Any member of SPOOK who is mutually agreed upon, or an outside mediator if it is preferred, will conduct the mediation. (UH students may opt for a UH mediator.) Should mediation fail to resolve the issue, the members of the Inner Triangle may elect to disallow the offending member admission to meetings. Removal from SPOOK will require a majority vote of the Inner Triangle. Should the Inner Triangle be unable to make a unified decision (i.e., the vote is one for removal, one against, and one undecided) the decision will be made by a majority vote of the membership of SPOOK at a meeting of which all members will be made aware. Should a member fail to show up, their vote is waived. All future branches of SPOOK located in Florida are prohibited from having recounts. Ever. If a member of the Inner Triangle registers the complaint, they will be prohibited from voting. Reapplication to SPOOK is permitted but may require further mediation. If an individual is removed from membership in SPOOK, that individual shall be told, notified in writing, and shall have an excommunication ceremony as described in the BoIL (Book of Insufficient Light, see “General Meetings”), should that individual desire one.
Article V: Meetings
Meetings held at University of Houston central must conform to Campus Activities Board rules. If candles, incense, ethyl cauldrons, and/or pyromancy will be used in a ceremony or meeting, a burn permit must be obtained. All UH regulations regarding dancing, nudity, and bonfires must be complied with. For the time, ritual athames and swords should not be brought to University of Houston (UH might not be the best facility to hold meetings on Beltaine, Bacchanalia, or the festival of Magna Mater. UH is a good facility for all festivals of Alma Mater).
Meetings will be held in a sacred space defined by the members at the beginning of the meeting, and will be held in a state of non-Platonic Perfect Love and Perfect Trust. In some cases, other Capitalized Abstractions may be substituted. Meetings of the chapter of SPOOK at UH will be held at UH. Campus Activities will determine the first three dimensions of our meeting space when a space is reserved ahead of time. Under no circumstances will the meetings be held in any form of metaphorical cave. Shadow puppet shows will require the Astral Projectionist.
General Meetings-
SPOOK members will be notified of General Meetings in advance, via email or phone. All meetings will be planned, advertised, and measured in “real time,” even if the actual meeting occurs in a realm where this measurement does not have meaning. SPOOK shall gather to learn and teach anything deemed SPOOKy by any SPOOK member, in accordance with the guidelines of this document and member requests. (Note: The whole of the meetings shall be “do as thou wilt”, and the meetings are love.) SPOOK is the place where all disbelief, expectation, cowardice, and suspicion must be left behind. You may reclaim your expectations after the meeting. Minutes of meetings shall be kept in a binder for records. All official and semi-permanent positions held by SPOOK shall be recorded in the SPOOK grimoire, named the Book of Insufficient Light, hereafter referred to as the “BoIL.” This book shall chronicle the dim ages before the great Occult Enlightenment of the 21st century. All theoretical knowledge and unpopular opinions shall be recorded in the Book of Ye Olde Blasphemy, hereafter referred to as the “BYOB.” All popular opinions that everyone holds but no one wants to admit to shall be published in a periodical called "Popular Blasphemy," to be published as blasphemy and funding allow.
Special Meetings-
Emergency Meetings will be called if an individual, regardless of membership status, needs counseling, healing, or other public-service assistance dealing with non-physical or semi-physical threats or problems. In such situations, the identity of the beneficiary, as well as the nature of the disturbance, will be kept secret unless the beneficiary gives explicit written consent. Such emergency meetings may need to be called quickly, and the media shall be by email, IM, phone (preferably mobile), telepathy, or any other method we can think of to get in touch. In such situations, only people with relevant skills shall be summoned. Due to the circumstances, notes and minutes of emergency meetings might not be kept.
Spontaneous Meetings are not called, but simply occur at random times of the day and in semi-random places. The most common of these places is the lounge at The Honors College, but is by no means the only place where such meetings may occur. These meetings shall follow the same general guidelines as General Meetings, but Campus Activities does not have any control over any aspect of the location of these meetings, as they are not official. While it would be ideal to keep minutes at these meetings for the sake of having a record of what was discussed, no transcript or record of Spontaneous Meetings is required due to their spontaneous nature. However, no matter of internal or external business may occur at a Spontaneous Meeting, as such meetings are not announced or advertised in real-time. Wherever two or more are gathered in SPOOK's name, SPOOK shall be there also.
Article VI: The Autonomous Collective and Officers
The officers of the chapter of SPOOK at University of Houston central campus must be members of SPOOK and students of UH central.
All members of SPOOK are responsible for recruiting new members. “Recruiting new members” is defined as being open to those who desire to join, without being pushy. Those who need to be members of SPOOK will be drawn to the organization like iron filings to a magnet. Those who do not need to part of our organization will be left untouched. If we are needed to help someone, they will come to us.
The officers of SPOOK are as follows:
[Disclaimer: any listing of high and low is intended only to conform to the medium of paper and is not intended to display a hierarchy]
(Note: Nomenclature of titles is mutable, and to be determined by the person filling the duties. Duties are only mutable through an amendment of this Constitution.)
Although an individual may hold more than one staff position, not more than one of these may be in the Inner Triangle. To be more Christ-like, officers may choose to be anointed with a drop of essential oil, holy water, or grokking water when assuming their office, but should remember that supreme executive power can only derive from a mandate from the masses, not some farcical aquatic ceremony.
In the UH chapter of SPOOK, new officers will be elected as officeholders graduate, step down, discorporate, die, or otherwise transcend the physical plane and/or leave UH. (Getting kicked out of school for financial reasons, such as having thousands of dollars get tied up in Financial Aid's red tape, is grounds for immediate replacement, regardless of whether or not the needed money is “almost here.” It is not worth risking SPOOK's status as a student organization for any reason.) A new officer will be elected if the current one is found lacking in skill by a majority of the other officers and a proper impeachment, as outlined in the BoIL, is held. The definition of “is” may not be questioned during impeachment. Save that for the general meetings. When a vacancy is created, any member may nominate any member of SPOOK as an officer. The members of the Outer Circle shall vote for officers and this outcome shall be a strongly influencing factor in the Inner Triangle's decision. SPOOK is not a democracy. Democracy relies on institution to overcome the weaknesses of humans. We rely on humans to overcome the weaknesses of institution.
The three officers in the Inner Triangle have final say in all official SPOOKy business. SPOOK is not a democracy. Two of these officers can agree to an internal action and make it so. In external affairs, a unanimous agreement between the three of them is required.
“The Inner Triangle”:
Grand High ÜberPimp- The Grand High ÜberPimp fills organizational duties and is a non-executive pseudobusiness leader who has transcended the need to prostitute quality for money. The GHÜP will be referred to as either a “secretary” or a “president” among mundanes, although the duties are closer to those of a butler or a Lockeian king. The GHÜP is a facilitator and mediator between SPOOK and those who SPOOK deals with in an official capacity. Coordinates people to solve problems related to the structure and function of SPOOK. The GHÜP is the voice of sanity in SPOOK.
Primary Care Metaphysician- Primarily responsible for monitoring psycho-spiritual health and development of members. Introduces theories to be supported, refuted, or both by the more sane members. The PCM is responsible for the artistic aspects of leadership. Brings new obscure occult experiences for the Grand High ÜberPimp and Propaganda Overfiend to turn into proliferated knowledge. The PCM is the voice of creativity in SPOOK.
Propaganda Overfiend- An ambassador-like position, the Propaganda Overfiend is responsible for communications between SPOOK and those that are not SPOOKy. The PO promotes the organization and publicizes our events and activities. Maintains the proliferation. Announces meetings to members. Relocates obscure, occult knowledge into the mundane world. Takes minutes of meetings when appropriate. The PO is the voice of SPOOK to the outside world.
The following officers have more specialized jurisdiction, and are optional to the operation of SPOOK, and in elections “none of the above” is a valid vote. (Remember, though-SPOOK is not a democracy. If the Inner Triangle chooses to have any elections, they are not required to listen to the votes.)
“The Outer Circle”:
Cleaning Crew- Members who are skilled at energy healing, grounding, shielding, and energy analysis and detection. Answer to the Primary Care Metaphysician.
Herbalist- Familiar with the chemical interactions and compositions of plants used in medicine and the corollary fields: poisoning, altered states of consciousness using legal plants, druidic magick, Cajun spicing, and brewing of potions and oils.
Multimedia Magicians- A group of people skilled at artistic visual/audio media presentations. Answer to the Propaganda Overfiend. However, anyone filling this position must remember that power corrupts and that PowerPoint corrupts absolutely.
Poly-Planar Surveyor/Lexicographer- Is skilled at traversing the secondary levels of existence, and is capable of delineating protective measures needed for specific tasks not done entirely on the physical plane. All non-physical films and slide shows shall be operated by the astral projectionist. The Lexicographer is the voice of the Universe in SPOOK.
Proles- The Proles conduct the tasks necessary to the operation of SPOOK. “Prole” may sometimes be a temporary position, held only when large numbers of unskilled or semi-skilled people are needed. (If someone desires to be a permanent Prole, it is encouraged that they love Big Brother.) Proles can be appointed by the GHÜP instead of elected. Proles are facilitators to the facilitator. May also be referred to as GHÜPies. Answer to the Grand High ÜberPimp.
Smeagol-Gollum's Apprentice- Takes care of the precioussss and fills the role of Treasurer. Takes all monies from fees, dues, tickets, etcetera, to be put in the SPOOK bank account. Pays expenses of SPOOK from said bank account. Notifies the Grand High ÜberPimp if any problems arise. Smeagol's Apprentice is the voice of profit motive inside SPOOK. May also be referred to as “YOU CAPITALIST PIG!!!!!”
Supreme non-gender-biased Officer of Excitement- Keeps track of the parties and other chaotic/interesting events. Should be skilled in the arts of minimizing the eastern sense of interesting and maximizing the western sense of interesting. May also be referred to as Mr. Excitement, Ms. Excitement, or Excitement Incarnate. The last title must be given up in the event of Excitement actually incarnating or becoming physically manifest. The Officer of Excitement is the voice in your head.
Article VII:
SPOOK Member Code of Conduct
Please remember that for every rule, there is an exception and/or loophole.
The 29 rules
Article VIII: Amendment of Constitution and Provisions for the Dissolution of SPOOK
If the Constitution of SPOOK is not functioning well due to change in circumstance, membership, or whatever unforeseen circumstance, the Constitution can be amended, redacted, or rewritten by a unanimous vote of the Inner Triangle. A copy of the amended Constitution shall be kept at the head office of SPOOK, and a copy given to facility organizers at all SPOOK chapters. Those currently include:
SPOOK at University of Houston, central campus
Department of Campus Activities, UC room 51
713.743.5180
The former draft of the Constitution shall be stricken void and kept as a record at the head office.
SPOOK shall be dissolved upon complete success, complete failure, or corruption of the organization to the point that the original purpose, as described in Article II of the Constitution, is lost.
SPOOK shall be dissolved if the members and officers change and the new consensus doesn't understand SPOOK as funny or fails to take SPOOK seriously.
The three founding members have the power to dissolve SPOOK upon unanimous agreement, as do the members of the Inner Triangle. Members shall individually be responsible for having read the current Constitution, although the Propaganda Overfiend shall attempt to announce changes.